Gypsy Name Generator

So for one of my Christmas presents my parents paid for belly dancing lessons starting in January. Tight, I know. Anyway, when I was looking on the Desert Gypsy site I recognized all the chicks on the team had LEGIT gypsy names. Well I wanted to find out what my gypsy name would be so I went to the Gypsy Name Generator. As it turns out, my gypsy name is ELECTRA meaning Brilliant one. Sweet huh? Find out yours today by clicking on the link above.

Anyway, I gotsta get some sleep but updates on the belly dancing classes will be coming your way in the near future. Night!

PS. Oh and hears a cool little fact. The word "jipped" (ex. Man I got jipped!) comes from the gypsies who would basically steal and rip people off.

Oh Bishop.

So today before sacrament I was perusing the pews for a familiar face to sit next to and my Bishop comes and stands next to me and says two words, "Joe Wood."

Me: "Joe Wood?"

Bishop M: "Do you know Joe Wood?"

Me: "No"

Bishop M: "Well you should. I'm the bishop and I think he's sharp! Liz! (He calls to his wife, aka Partner in Crime)"

Liz: "I can see you conniving Glen. What's this all about?"

Bishop M: "I'm just telling Amy how sharp Joe Wood is don't you think he's sharp?"

Liz to me: "Oh yes he's very sharp."

Bishop M: "Go sit next to him and make some moves!"

Me: "Uh..."

Liz: "Follow me"

So Liz then practically drags me over to sharp Joe Wood and sits me right next to him like a toddler.

Liz to Joe: "This is my cute neighbor Amy"

Joe: "Oh hi. Ya I know who you are"

Me: "huh. That's weird cuz I had no clue who you were!"

And that was about it except for the awkward silence till the meeting started. After the meeting we talked about my genius older brother and then I sorta ran away. Turns out this Joe Wood WAS very sharp but I still can't believe my bishop and his wife teamed up to attempt at matchmaking. Ah...always good times in the singles ward.

A Call Out to All Christmas Slackers

I accompanied my cousins to the mall last night to look at Vicky panties. As we flitted from various store to store I saw everyone and their DOG frantically searching for gifts they should have gotten weeks ago. I guess I just don't really understand why everyone seems to find it absolutely NECESSARY to wait until the last possible minute before Christmas to get their gifts. I mean, by then most of the good gifts are taken and all the thoughtfulness that SHOULD go into a gift is completely ridden over by the pressure and stress to fulfill the "obligatory" tradition of Christmas commercialism.

Anyway, those are just my thoughts on the matter.

-AMOS

PS. Note the the fourteen year old buying lingerie for his GF: You're mother does not approve.

Ladies and.... ladies. (Boys trust me--you don't wanna see this)

TODAY is a momentous occasion. People from all over the universe have told me I have a very flexible and expressive face. Well... they were absolutely correct. You are about embark on a journey, and see with your own eyes, several of the most HIDEOUS funny-faces of all time. Why? Do you ask? Why would I share these darker parts of myself? Well I'll tell you why.

Because I love you. And you deserve to feel good about yourself. And these lovely pictures have the incredible power to do that for you.

AND I was bored. (But that's beside the point. )

Anyway, from the bottom of my heart of hearts...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!


**I made them in black and white to "enhance" the effect.







And I'll save the best worst ones for later:D

A Night in Park City

Last night my buddies Michael and Amos invited me to go to Park City to spend the night in a hotel/condo with a bunch of other friends. It was way cool cuz we went swimming, played games, ate junk food, and watched some shows. I was SUPER tired so I went and laid down on one of the bunks but Michael Was DETERMINED to not let me sleep. He put on this hilarious robe and brought two wine glasses (filled with pink lemonade) and red vines to use as straws. We sat on my bunk, toasted to 9/11 (his idea)and joked around till I retained a little more energy. After binging ourselves on junkfood and watching The Best of Will Ferrel, Mike and I got bored and decided to engage in a little "pillow talk". Seriously it was kind of funny. We both laid on the bottom bunk (don't worry, totally PG stuff) and talked for almost FIVE hours straight. We started out unwinding from our day and then began a series of random conversations, falling in and out of sleep as we spoke. (It was LATE). It was really cool cuz we talked about everything from spiritual to physical to humorous to depressing, and we gave each other several "insights" to the brains of the opposite sex.

We talked a lot about marriage and it was very interesting to learn that there are surprisingly a lot guys that feel and think about marriage in the same way we females do. It was pretty comforting (and surprising) to me actually. He helped put some of my fears at bay and made me think about certain things in a way I never have before. I love having guy friends for that reason.

Well after our brains were completely fried from our long conversation and lack of sleep, we decided to drive home since there were a lot more people than there were beds. I slept the whole way home and didn't get in my bed till like 4am but it was totally worth it. My only regret was not being able to go to the Star Wars movie marathon with my wife. Love you Drea<3

Anyway, it's been a good day blogging but I gotsta go take a shower:)Hasta Luego!

-Amos

Mmm...pepper.

Not the seasoning pepper. No I'm talking about hair. Out of all my "old men" (or older I should say) crushes they've all had one thing in common: Premature graying of the hair. aka: drop dead SEXINESS. No joke. I don't know what it is about younger guys with gray hair that I find so darn attractive. Ok, that's a lie yes I do. Here's a small list:
-It's distiquished
-It has an impressive quality about it--like this person is wealthy or something
-It's rebelling. Young in the face but old in the hair.
and it's overall just kinda....
fascinating to be honest.


My love for the salt & pepper look definitely started when I was fifteen and I had the most amazingly HANDSOME and charming Sunday school teacher. Seriously, I think every girl in the class drooled over Bro. W. Since then, there have been other old man church crushes and most of them have had PGOTH.

Anyway, I had the fortunate pleasure of cleaning the teeth of one such a man the other day which impulsed me to relinquish my feelings on the subject this morning. But after I cleaned the Greek God's teeth (which were likewise FABULOUS as well) and he walked away, I sighed a big sigh and with a far-off gaze muttered to Angie the Hygienist, "There's something about that man's gray hair that I found very attractive..."

She just laughed and said, "you're so cute" but gave in and agreed with me.

Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:

Ah.. George Clooney. Classic example of this.


Sorry, kinda bad quality. I tried.

Oh ya, baby.

Doesn't really let his hair go gray yet but would look SO good if he did!

Charles in Charge

***Apologies for making this blog post so freakishly long but I'm using it for documentation purposes.


Sooo.... I had a dream last night about my parents getting rid of my dog and woke up crying. Seriously. My parents are moving to a new, nicer, smaller house this summer and they've been talking about they want to get rid of Charlie. Um...HECK NO. Charlie is MY boy. Growing up, all I wanted as a kid was a dog. For years and years and years I asked my parents for a dog but the answer was always a firm "NO." For my 11th birthday my parents consented and bought me Dog #1-Crazy Max. Max was a Cockerspaniel mix and my parents found him at the pound. I remember I couldn't breathe when I first saw him leashed to a tree with a bow and balloons tied to his neck. Max was fun for a while but after about a month we realized why Max was put in the pound. It's not just that he was overly hyper but he was known to bite. After he bit my 5 year old sister my parents decided it was the final straw and gave him back to the pound.

Well, my parents were kind and decided to try again. So next came Dog #2-Penny-the Neurotic. We found Penny at this breeders house (more like a puppy mill) and when she brought out this teeny-tiny white ball of fluff, who could resist? We found out this little Maltese was born on MY same birthday so we felt like it was DESTINY that we found this puppy. Fools. Looking back I see we should have evaluated things a little better. This lady-breeder (haha I got a kick out of the sound of that) lived in a small trashy home and was overall a pretty trashy lady. All her kids were dirty and she treated them poorly (which she no-doubt did the same for her dogs). I remember ferocious sounding dogs in the background but all I could focus on was this adorable white little furball. It's amazing the sense-blinding affect puppies can have on you! Well apparently, Penny was the runt of the family and all her bros and sisters died (THAT should have been a red flag). A week or so after we got Penny she got REALLY sick. The vet told us it was a disease that puppies get in poorly cared for kennels. Nice. Being that all her siblings died from it, he didn't give her a very good survival rate. The next month was HELL. Being that she was my dog, I had to wake up twice a night to literally force this nasty goopy dog food down her throat. We had to keep our eyes on her 24/7 and I knew at any moment she could die. We finally nursed her back to health and she grew into the fine, EVIL dog we have been trying to erase from our memories.
Seriously she was BAD. First of all, we could not get her potty trained. We tried for about a YEAR and even hired a professional but to no avail. Besides that, Penny was MEAN. She would literally ATTACK whoever came to the door or really anyone within a 20ft radius of us. She was yappy, obstinate, and frankly neurotic to tell you the truth, so even I wasn't that sad when my parents recommended getting rid of her. In fact, it was sort of my choice. I just feel bad for the poor sucker that ended up with her.

After that, my parents were like "no more dogs." I still loved dogs but I decided not to push them for a little while. Then Brynn Kocherhans' dog had puppies. I fell in love. Well, 1,500 dollars of MY OWN money as well as a long deliberate consent from my parents, Sadie was mine. Dog #3-Sadie the Sweet.
Wow. Sadie was an awesome dog (especially considering the first two). She was beautiful, quiet , and one of the sweetest dogs you could ever find. We all loved her especially my mom and Johnny. And I think she loved them the most too. It's strange that I don't really remember a whole lot from Sadie. I DO remember, however, when she got sick. She had previously had a plethora of health issued but she never should have died as young as she did (2 or 3 yrs--I can't remember). Months before, it seemed as if Sadie was always depressed. I realize now that it's possible she could have just been in pain. A couple weeks before her death she got really sick and the vet put her on all sorts of medication. Medication that probably killed her being that the vet failed to diagnose her failing kidneys. Her death was a REALLY hard day for the whole family. We were all home when her body went limp and I'll never forget the feeling of holding a dead dog in my arms. We held a funeral service for her in my backyard and there was not a single dry eye from any of my family members. Pretty sure my big "tough" older bro Johnny was bawling as he dug the hole for her to rest in. The blue feelings actually stayed around that entire week and I think all of us could feel the hole in our family.

That Sunday, my mom said words that I NEVER thought I would EVER hear from her lips "I think we should get another dog." This is the woman that swore she always hated dogs and would never get a dog again (after Penny). I remember as soon as we thought of the idea of getting another dog, everybody perked up and there was a buzz around the house as we searched online for top breeders of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. (We had such a good experience with Sadie I think we are all Cavalier lovers for life). My dad spent months looking because we wanted to be SURE this dog would not have health problems like Sadie did. (Cavaliers are known to have AMAZING temperments but horrible health issues.) We found our top-of-the-line breeders and even found Charlie but had to drive to Arizona to get him. Not to mention, he was one expensive little pup! (Worth every penny in my opinion.)

I was the one that got to drive up to Arizona with my dad and it was an AWESOME experience. We spent the night in a hotel and picked Charlie up the very next day. The ride home was fantastic. I remember feeling SO excited to have this puppy, I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. This was the time Charlie and I really connected (wow that sounds so cheesy when you're talking about a dog) but seriously. He followed me everywhere and completely owned my heart. When we got home, I think Charlie felt overwhelmed by all my excited family members and he would constantly run to me for protection (which he still does today ha ha). I remember my sibs being all angry at me cuz it was clear Charlie liked me best. Over time though, Charlie truly became the family dog and would share his love with anyone and everyone that would pay him the slightest attention. It was nice to finally have a true "Family Dog" and Charlie was the perfect dog for the job. Picking out a name for him was heinous. I remember sitting in the living room with my entire family for like FOUR hours trying to name him. It was frustrating as heck cuz no one could agree on anything. Here were some my personal favorites me and the sibs agreed on but my parents vetoed.
-Gambit
-Hendrix (love that one)
-Dante
-Scooter
and -Scout. We had about fifty billion other names but I guess they weren't important enough to remember.
Finally after what felt like days my mom was like "We're naming him Charlie and I don't care what anybody has to say about it." I didn't like the name at first but now I've come to see that it fits him perfectly.
Which FINALLY brings me to why I posted this blog in the first place. Dog #4-Charlie the Goof. aka Best dog ever.
Many people wouldn't see what I see in Charlie but whenever I think about him, I can't help but smile. Every dog has its own personality and I honestly LOVE Charlie's. He's just so goofy and loving and sometimes I think he's downs syndrome, or autistic or something along those lines. I can't explain it. It's kind of hilarious because anytime he gets super happy or excited about something--he cries like a baby. And I'm not talking about a whimper. I'm talking about a full-blown, heart-wrenching sobbing almost. It's hard to explain. It's sort of like he has SO much love/excitement/happiness/etc. that he literally CANNOT contain himself. Not only is it hilarious, but I find it very endearing. I wish I had that kind of emotion sometimes.
Charlie and I just "fit" ya know? Even though Sadie was a wonderful dog, I just didn't really connect with her in the same way as I have with Charlie. There's just something about him that meshes with my personality. He really is MY boy.
So this dream that I had, perfectly illustrates my feelings towards my parents giving him away. In my dream, I was so mad at the thought of my parents getting rid of him that I told them I would never speak to them again if they did. I yelled at them for caring more about cold hard pieces of furniture that for caring about one of my best friends. I woke up crying and its made me think of how much I really do love Charlie. It makes me wish I had taken him on more walks and played with him more when I was living at home and how I wish so badly he could live with me now.
There's NO WAY I'll let my parents take my dog away from me and thankfully I have my awesome sibs to back me on this. Charles stays with me and I hope we will have many more years of hilarious memory-makeage to come!






This is a picture of Charlie laying in front of my door that my sister sent me after I moved away to college.

Pretty sure I almost cried when I first saw it.

Love you boy!

This is how you know...

you've been watching way too much of The Office. (And please excuse the long run on sentences--this is kind of a hurried blog entry) Ok so last night I had the funniest dream that I was part of The Office and Pam and Jim were my best friends except for Jim was in love with me instead of Pam (Score!). Anyway, Michael Scott went crazy all of a sudden and tried to kill Pam. We decided to run away and seek cover from the oh-so magical land of Disney. So we are running all over the park trying to hide while our crazy boss is chasing us in his suit so he can murder us. He then meets up with this completely psychopathic woman who was searching for babies to kill in the most inhumane ways. Pam had a nervous break-down for fear that this woman would get a hold of her own precious child but Jim and I assured her that we would find a way to get them off our track. We all boarded a train to get away but we were spotted by Michael and the baby-killer who then followed us on the train but in a different boxcar. So at night when the evil villains fell asleep, we jumped of the train (yes while it was moving--don't you love how you can do stuff like that in dreams?) and that was how we made our final escape. There was much more to the dream but that's all I can remember for now.

Ah what would life be without interesting dreams?

Can't wait for Halloween!!

Here's my super sexy costume I bought for a little too much money! Halloween only comes once a year though so you gotta live it up!

Pumpkins!

Here are pictures of the pumpkins. Monster Pumpkin-Jon and Courtney, Peekaboo Pumpkin -Owen and Sydney, and last but NOT least, Mummy Pumpkin -Jake and Amy
**Feel free to comment which one you think is best.

Here is a somewhat disturbing shoe I found at Ross. 

Still trying to figure out why this obviously confused manager is actually attempting to sell the pair in Utah.  And in the women's section no less!

Where there's a will

 there's a way

Dear Aunt Flo

You know what I’ve decided really sucks to pay for? Besides, everything that is. TAMPONS. I’ve made a list of reasons why this is so.

#1. They are expensive (unless you decide to buy the cardboard crap which I STRONGLY DO NOT RECOMMEND)

#2. You are spending your hard earned money on a piece of plastic that goes in a place where the sun doesn’t shine and is ruled by Governor PAIN

#3. When you go to buy them, you’re typically already not in a good mood due to the classic PMS symptoms taking control of your brain, therefore making the tampon buying THAT much more ridiculous

#4. After feeling fumed and frazzled, you then have to endure the pathetic frightened little look the wimpy, zit-faced sixteen year old checkout boy has on his face as he quickly scans the tampon box and whisks it out of sight as if it might make him grow boobs if he touches it for too long. Grow up bambi!

#5. On the drive home from the store, you think of how stupid it is that you had to go to store, and spend money on stupid tampons, and you think of all the things you could have bought INSTEAD of the stupid tampons, and how if you were a BOY you wouldn’t HAVE to buy stupid tampons, or make-up, or jewelry, or hair products, or skin products, OR anything else that is expensive yet needed to compete with the other females to score a male in the mating world! A guy can buy all his clothes at DI and shower once a week and still find a lady friend who fawns over him. The injustice! It is then you are awakened by a rudening epiphany: It sucks to be a girl!

Anyway, back to PMS. Good news is, in a couple days you’ll get over it. Until approx 23-28 days later when you have to experience it again. Don’t you just LOVE mother nature?

AMOS

Carved Branch Style with Ring Enhancer

My friends know how picky I am when it comes to men. Well it happens to be my misfortune that I’m pretty much the same way with everything else. Well as not to cause myself and future husband to be too much grief, I decided to start researching on the type of ring that I want. All I'm going to say, is that if I’m going to be wearing it for the rest of my life, I'D BETTER FREAKIN LOVE IT. Well, after only a few short hours (I've been chained at home deathly ill--gimme a break) I came across these majestic beauties. Ahhh love at first sight! 

Not to say this is EXACTLY what I want, but it’s the closest I’ve found SO FAR. Haha my poor husband

Oh the questions of life

So I was thinking the other day, what does the F-E stand for in FEmale? 

Freakishly Emotional male?

Found Estrogen (in) male?

Fairly Erotic male?

Why do WE have to be the ones with the mood changing hormones?

Larenxes, Glacitus and max laryngitus La voce to me!

I’ve decided that I have a thing for guys who sing like girls. I happen to be a big American Idol fan and Adam Lambert is the new love of my heart. Well his voice anyway. As for the rest of him…  kinda gross. Not to mention, gay. But I’m not holding that against him. So here is

Specimen #1

Moving on, over my long hours on YouTube, you’d be surprised at how many other freakish she-man singers there are out there. For example: Nick Pitera. Looks normal enough (though he strikes me a strong resemblance of Buzz Lightyear). Sings beautifully as a male….. and a female. Check it out if you haven’t already.

Specimen #2:

And

Specimen #3  Hot bald Russian dude. 

It doesn’t get better than that. Though it is kinda perturbing when a male can about TWO octaves higher than me.

AMOS

Umm...??

Ok so I’m on thecutestblogontheblock.com (wow that’s a mouthful) looking for a cute template when, no joke, I find the following template backgrounds:

-Quilted Horse

-Haulin Dirt

-John’s Tractor (huh?)

-Springsicle

-(And other randoms)

 

But my personal favorite...

-Autism awareness background.  What the HELL is that?

School Shopping

So my sister just started school this week and I was observing earlier this morning how her wardrobe has suddenly exploded with brand new outfits she’ll have for the first month of school. Do you old single lady college students remember those days? Back to school shopping when your mom paid for everything? Man, that was the best. But as I tried not to peruse her new donnage with wild envy (being as I’m still in the paper sack I wore to highschool), I suddenly remembered the REASON it was important to wear new clothes the first week of school and I suddenly didn’t feel so bad.

So what it ultimately came down to was this:

 if I had to choose between buying MY OWN clothes and puberty, preppies, cliques, the unremitting need to fit in, zits, raging hormones, and terribly low self-esteem, etc, etc, etc

Hand me my credit card.

AMOS

Happy Blog-Birthday to Me!!

Greetings! To all my fellow bloggees, bloggists, or just plain old boring bloggERs. YES, I am aware of the fact that I have been MIA in the blogging universe until this bright and glorious day. And YES, I am also aware that I am writing as to a reader there is no existing party at the present time. NO, I will NOT admit to being somewhat insane because of this because I am, in fact, WHOLELY insane. I’m just good at putting on a good “sane” face for the kiddies. 

Surprised? 

The people who know me aren’t.

Anyway, GAY (as in happy) BLOG-BURFDAY TO ME-IST!! Hope I’m not the only one that’s excited

Ok, so as a prelude to the birthing process of this oh-so spectacular blog, one might ask “What finally motivated her to do it?” Create my blog, I mean. Well, besides my deep inner need to relinquish bitter diatribes on poor unsuspecting readers, I decided it was time to voice my thoughts and experiences of everyday occurrences. Most of these subjects are things that everyone experiences but few people take the time to write down. My best friends happen to be some of these few people and I wanted to join in on the fun. Besides that, it’s nice to PRETEND somebody actually gives a ...

Anyway,.. 

I can’t promise my blog will be interesting. But I can promise it will be full of random-GOODNESS (and of course the occasional wickedness.) Feel free to leave comments, opinions, experiences, or complaints.

Just don’t disrupt my chi.

AMOS