You know what I’ve decided really sucks to pay for? Besides, everything that is. TAMPONS. I’ve made a list of reasons why this is so.
#1. They are expensive (unless you decide to buy the cardboard crap which I STRONGLY DO NOT RECOMMEND)
#2. You are spending your hard earned money on a piece of plastic that goes in a place where the sun doesn’t shine and is ruled by Governor PAIN
#3. When you go to buy them, you’re typically already not in a good mood due to the classic PMS symptoms taking control of your brain, therefore making the tampon buying THAT much more ridiculous
#4. After feeling fumed and frazzled, you then have to endure the pathetic frightened little look the wimpy, zit-faced sixteen year old checkout boy has on his face as he quickly scans the tampon box and whisks it out of sight as if it might make him grow boobs if he touches it for too long. Grow up bambi!
#5. On the drive home from the store, you think of how stupid it is that you had to go to store, and spend money on stupid tampons, and you think of all the things you could have bought INSTEAD of the stupid tampons, and how if you were a BOY you wouldn’t HAVE to buy stupid tampons, or make-up, or jewelry, or hair products, or skin products, OR anything else that is expensive yet needed to compete with the other females to score a male in the mating world! A guy can buy all his clothes at DI and shower once a week and still find a lady friend who fawns over him. The injustice! It is then you are awakened by a rudening epiphany: It sucks to be a girl!
Anyway, back to PMS. Good news is, in a couple days you’ll get over it. Until approx 23-28 days later when you have to experience it again. Don’t you just LOVE mother nature?
AMOS
