Nightmares

From the time I was little, I sometimes have really bad nightmares. Almost every time I would get a fever, the nightmares would get so bad I would have hallucinations that made them feel incredibly real. I would scream, sleep walk, sleep talk etc. and my parents often had to put me in the shower to cool me down.

I don't think of myself as a morbid person and I've never been into any horror films or novels so I can't figure out why I end up having such morbid dreams. Lately the dreams have been pretty bad. Sometimes I even have daydreams of them--well, flashes really. The variety of these dreams is immense. I don't fear dying but I have dreams of dying very unnatural painful deaths. I dream about rapists, corpses, children bleeding out of their eyes... or lesser dreams about being blind, getting lost and having no way back, or having a never ending homework assignment that I have to but can't finish.

My first year of college, there was a point when the dreams would get so bad, I hated going to sleep so I would stay up as late as I possibly could.

Why these dreams come--is a mystery. I'm not really sure what they say about me as a person. Anyway, I hope they won't last forever--it's kinda uncool to wake up shaking or in a sweat.

-Ames